It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
