you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
