It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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