Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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