Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
