I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My hand turned me down
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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