It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
