I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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