I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
