What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
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Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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