So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
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I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
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is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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