Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
