I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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