Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
