Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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