Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
