Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize