I'm gonna have a badass scar
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
