White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Dicks are not precious.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
