she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I need to stop coming to work sober
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
