You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
