just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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