too bad you live with your parents still
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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