you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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