Texts From Last Night

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  (937): View more from Ohio

  We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.

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  (937): We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now. http://tfl.nu/61xt
  Replies (32) Good night (2918) Bad night (581) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City

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  (609): Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City http://tfl.nu/hsks
  Replies (64) Good night (4811) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.

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  (817): just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing. http://tfl.nu/3pw8
  Replies (18) Good night (5730) Bad night (499) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.

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  (518): are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month. http://tfl.nu/5oap
  Replies (23) Good night (4313) Bad night (1685) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.

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  (904): I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here. http://tfl.nu/eefr
  Replies (30) Good night (7974) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you

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  (412): She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you http://tfl.nu/82k6
  Replies (6) Good night (4357) Bad night (836)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!

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  (814): My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!! http://tfl.nu/fx6s
  Replies (16) Good night (808) Bad night (5518) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out

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  (770): He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out http://tfl.nu/ozsp
  Replies (7) Good night (905) Bad night (2563) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.

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  (516): Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex. http://tfl.nu/fp8n
  Replies (6) Good night (2548) Bad night (932) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter

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  (732): he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter http://tfl.nu/lu6b
  Replies (5) Good night (774) Bad night (1908) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.

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  (615): Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place. http://tfl.nu/527t
  Replies (2) Good night (1854) Bad night (441) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.

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  (269): There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now. http://tfl.nu/59k6
  Replies (9) Good night (1435) Bad night (527) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?

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  (321): Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding? http://tfl.nu/i6fm
  Replies (15) Good night (1119) Bad night (805) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.

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  (319): You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/1rw7
  Replies (5) Good night (1153) Bad night (611) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities

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  (419): Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities http://tfl.nu/xynh
  Replies (8) Good night (334) Bad night (1617) Order T-Shirt

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