There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
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100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
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Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something