Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.