Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality