every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?