hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown