hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
