you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize