are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
