Will you blow on my dice?
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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