Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
