All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
