You're completely useless in the revolution.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
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