Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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