Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
