i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Randomize
