Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
