end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
