Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
