DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
