im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Sorry my hands just texted you
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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