it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
