i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i came on her dog
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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