Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
4 words: hood of his car
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
