this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
