VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
