i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
