you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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