I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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