I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
