thus making me awesome and them whores
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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