Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
