Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm at about main and main street
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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