Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
