so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
