The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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