The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
God, I missed his penis.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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