it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
