her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
