In the future we'll all be gay
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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