my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
