he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
