Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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